maybe equanimity

“Life is much better when you get (all?) the references” – this thought was initially very appealig, and still is, I even still kinda’ agree. But how irrational to have that as an expectation from people or as a basis of report – while you’re always learning too.. Share and let others share too, listen, and speak your mind – enjoy the novelty, enjoy the catharsis.

“Catharsis”

I remembered a moment that happened twice actually.
“why i laughed?” … i laughed because of the irony of the mix of the serenity and the bitterness… in the background “Lucy in the sky with diamonds”… i light another cigarette – it seems culturally like an excuse to pause reality and reflect upon it, or just create a shelter of a separate parallel reality, an exclusive, members-only one, but this shelter can be incentivised by anything else (not necessarily smoking) – you can just step out for a breath of “fresh” air, the stars are still there, or the clouds, or anything really – nothing has monopoly or exclusivity over anything really… equanimity at a step (mind-state) away… deep breath, it doesn’t matter what you inhale, it doesn’t really matter if you use pop or non-pop references or none, it’s all there, though nuance brought by references (history) do flavour it, and it’s soothing, it narrows it, but it’s soothing, even more personal and mindful – sometimes.

– – –

soon after, a woman next to me (on the phone) as i wait for the streetlight: “vă mulțumesc, scuze pentru deranj, la revedere” (“thank you, sorry to have disturbed, until next time”), it’s green.

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