little version of a guide to finding yourself

It’s been a while since I tried to think in rhymes. Here’s an unfinished such thought.

Look behind you!
If you let everything go

and just stare at your life’s ground as if it was snow,
You might realise how bits of you left footprints in it’s glow.

Now look a bit around you…
Look up, look down, look left, look right,
Look at your surroundings – see them trough day and night…
And shining trough the darkness,

And gliding trough the light,
You find those pieces of you holding together tight.

confession 17

One summer day, just after I had turned 17 years old, I had this though that if it were possible to choose an age to which to remain forever, it would be 17.

I feel the same.

supposed truth about two plus two

I’m sorry, it seams i’m unable to put two and two together. I suppose that’s because i see two and two but there seams to also be a times 3, or is it times four? And do I also see divided to two again? Why the division?
Or is it just two plus two? Oh, it’s a minus? I don’t know!! I’m going mad!

Why can’t people just talk about this sort of things, help them-selves rid of all that’s only in their mind and value or deal with only what’s really there? Is there anything there? Sometimes the desire or need for there to be something (specially something in particular) can make one see it there even if it’s not, and then again, sometimes the fear of vulnerability and lack of confidence can make one think there’s nothing there even if there actually is..

It all ads up to some freaky comedy of life where simple truths can be torn and made into monsters of our fear of vulnerability and of loosing the state of the comfortable world that some have worked so hard to get to and keep it this comfortable.

And I suppose that’s a reason we don’t just say stuff, why we don’t just talk about some things, isn’t it? Vulnerability, fear of failure, of going trough things or making others go trough things, of being misunderstood, or of realizing delusion..

And to top it all, because of all this maddens one can just give up.. discouraged by the implications brought by natural selection in all this shadows reading unwanted exercise to which time is nothing but curly making people move on or go slightly mad.

But it could all be so simple, if we just said what’s on our minds, fully and truthfully.. after that, it could be either so very good, either the truth will hurt.. but it’ll be the truth, it will help us know better, be better, move on..

One more thing: nothing HAS to be sacrificed, or given up on. No one HAS to do anything or to stop doing anything. It seams like a matter of choice, but it doesn’t HAVE to be a mater of choice, one can have them all, and I mean ALL. And actually by ‘one’, I mean two can have it all too, nothing HAS to be lost, nothing HAS to be given up on.
And yes, by two plus two I actually mean one plus one.


I suppose we mostly know what we want, it’s a such a conspicuous contrast of our desires.. what we need though.. can be like an equation to which we don’t always know or understand all of the parameters..


the night and the wonder after sorrow

End of chapter 10 from ‘Three man in a boat’ by Jermoe K. Jerome.

“The boat seemed stuffy, and my head ached; so I thought I would step out into the cool night-air. I slipped on what clothes I could find about – some of my own, and some of George’s and Harris’s – and crept under the canvas on to the bank. It was a glorious night. The moon had sunk, and left the quiet earth alone with the stars. It seemed as if, in the silence and the hush, while we her children slept, they were talking with her, their sister – conversing of mighty mysteries in voices too vast and deep for childish human ears to catch the sound. They awe us, these strange stars, so cold, so clear. We are as children whose small feet have strayed into some dim-lit temple of the god they have been taught to worship but know not; and, standing where the echoing dome spans the long vista of the shadowy light, glance up, half hoping, half afraid to see some awful vision hovering there. And yet it seems so full of comfort and of strength, the night. In its great presence, our small sorrows creep away, ashamed. The day has been so full of fret and care, and our hearts have been so full of evil and of bitter thoughts, and the world has seemed so hard and wrong to us. Then Night, like some great loving mother, gently lays her hand upon our fevered head, and turns our little tear-stained faces up to hers, and smiles; and, though she does not speak, we know what she would say, and lay our hot flushed cheek against her bosom, and the pain is gone. Sometimes, our pain is very deep and real, and we stand before her very silent, because there is no language for our pain, only a moan. Night’s heart is full of pity for us: she cannot ease our aching; she takes our hand in hers, and the little world grows very small and very far away beneath us, and, borne on her dark wings, we pass for a moment into a mightier Presence than her own, and in the wondrous light of that great Presence, all human life lies like a book before us, and we know that Pain and Sorrow are but the angels of God. Only those who have worn the crown of suffering can look upon that wondrous light; and they, when they return, may not speak of it, or tell the mystery they know.

Once upon a time, through a strange country, there rode some goodly knights, and their path lay by a deep wood, where tangled briars grew very thick and strong, and tore the flesh of them that lost their way therein. And the leaves of the trees that grew in the wood were very dark and thick, so that no ray of light came through the branches to lighten the gloom and sadness. And, as they passed by that dark wood, one knight of those that rode, missing his comrades, wandered far away, and returned to them no more; and they, sorely grieving, rode on without him, mourning him as one dead. Now, when they reached the fair castle towards which they had been journeying, they stayed there many days, and made merry; and one night, as they sat in cheerful ease around the logs that burned in the great hall, and drank a loving measure, there came the comrade they had lost, and greeted them. His clothes were ragged, like a beggar’s, and many sad wounds were on his sweet flesh, but upon his face there shone a great radiance of deep joy. And they questioned him, asking him what had befallen him: and he told them how in the dark wood he had lost his way, and had wandered many days and nights, till, torn and bleeding, he had lain him down to die. Then, when he was nigh unto death, low through the savage gloom there came to him a stately maiden, and took him by the hand and led him on through devious paths, unknown to any man, until upon the darkness of the wood there dawned a light such as the light of day was unto but as a little lamp unto the sun; and, in that wondrous light, our way-worn knight saw as in a dream a vision, and so glorious, so fair the vision seemed, that of his bleeding wounds he thought no more, but stood as one entranced, whose joy is deep as is the sea, whereof no man can tell the depth. And the vision faded, and the knight, kneeling upon the ground, thanked the good saint who into that sad wood had strayed his steps, so he had seen the vision that lay there hid. And the name of the dark forest was Sorrow; but of the vision that the good knight saw therein we may not speak nor tell.”

Dear brother, friend, world

I love you,, ..friend, I’m sorry I don’t tell or show you this. I do.

I want to tell you that I do care. I always did. I seam to not know how to let you know. How to communicate to you.

Sometimes I don’t  know any better,  I’m no stranger to ignorance and procrastination either. 

But I also want to tell you that I’ve changed.. I guess I’ve always been changing a bit, learning a bit, realizing a bit. I’ve always wanted to improve.. I guess because I’ve always seen a need to improve my self. I keep realizing mistakes that I’ve done, and try to value the lessons learned. I’ve been careless.. too careless. I’m sorry, i realize at times I’ve let down, probably at times in a shocking way. 

I know I’ve still got a long way to go. Maybe we all have. I feel that I have to catch up sometimes. And sometimes I know that’s true. 

I’ve been undecided, I’ve been irresponsible,  i had let my self go. I’ve created expectations and have  disappointed.  I know I’ve also had success, I don’t remember the average but I remember the particular times that I regret disappointing. I could have done better. 

You’ll probably still have to bare with me sometimes. If that happens, again, I hope you’ll help me see that I’m worth it.  We all are. I know we can do wonderful things and have a great time together.

Please let me know of my faults so that I can improve and look you in the eye with opened mind and honesty. I might be difficult, stubborn, maybe in denial. Build your arguments around my feedback if it’s contradictory, I’ll try to do the same. Thank you for your effort to not let hasty reactions be an impediment for improvement. 

film de scurt metraj ‘Parcul’

Acest sinopsis / scenariu l-am clocit pentru un curs de inițiere în cinematografie, ținut de Cineremember în Tg. Mureș (2010). Ideea era ca participanții să propună ideii/sinopsis/scenarii pentru un filmuleț care să fie partea practică a cursului. Membrii și colaboratorii Cineremember venind din București, îmi imaginam ca nu va putea fi foarte extravagantă partea practică deoarece cursul a fost gratuit și ar fi fost echipament de trasnsportat.

De aceea m-am gândit la această povestioară că va fi la îndemână, ușor de parcurs și învățat prin experință. Deși ideea mea a fost aleasă într-adevar pentru acele motive, și pentru suport și instrucțiuni au venit oameni capabili precum Șteafan Matei, realizarea clipului a lăsat de dorit, deși instrucțiunile teoretice au fost utile. De aceea îl împărtășesc acum în norișori pentru a valorifica totuși cât de cât ideea și efortul. Ar fi interesant să îl pot realiza așa cum mi-l imaginam.. odată. Iată ce am trimis organizatorilor cursului pentru selecție (cu mici ajustări).

PS. Se unmește “Parcul” deoarece se întâmpla într-un parc dar și are de multe ori în el cuvântul “parcă” : – ). Imaginile și filmulețul le-am făcut la exercițiul practic din timpul cursului / filmărilor – secvența asta am facut-o atunci doar scop ilustrativ, nu penru a fi folosită în montaj.

(deoarece e un filmuleț de căteva minute, am insistat la consisteța unor detalii importante. Acest film de scurt metraj este fără dialog, doar sunete din parc, oameni care trec – ‘environment sounds’).

Într-un parc, pe o bancă: o fată. Vizavi, pe o altă bancă, un băiat. Întâi ii vedem individual, parcă triști – încăt empatia celor ce vizionează filmul își face apariția: unii oameni se identifică cu personajul fie ca fiind tirști (singurătate), fie ca fiind ingrijorați (probleme – însă din nou ar avea nevoie de suprijinul cuiva).

Inițial aceștia sunt fixați cu ochii în pământ, neobservându-se. Între ei trec alți oameni (prin parc) care se bucură de vreme sau pur și simplu de timpul liber.

Pentru a da o admosferă/notă mai inocentă/senină, prin fața celor doi trece un cuplu fericit, altul cu un copil care se joacă de mână cu parinții lui.. poate și alte astfel de imagini.

Cei doi se observă pe rând, separat, și încep să aibe o mică idilă din priviri, am putea să îi zicem un flirt insă admosfera, privirile și zâmbeletele lor sunt parcă așa de pure, nevinovate încât am elimina conștiința și intenția unui flirt.

Întâi se prefac că nu s-au observat, apoi își zâmbesc – parcă fără să își dea seama. Apoi, conștientizând acest contact, băiatul parcă se rușinează și își întoarce timid privirea spre pămnât. Apoi se preface că se uită în altă parte ca și cum pentru a nu-i fi observată privirea. Observând aceasta,  fata zâmbește amuzată și, ca un copil, își pune ambele mâini pe banca și isi leagănă (sau mișcă) picioarele și se uită și ea în stânga și dreapta.

Apoi, ca un joc cu doi copii timizi, fiecare se mai uită din când în când la celalalt, iar când și celalat se uita își întorc privirea ca și cum s-ar fi uitat defapt altundeva. Parcă entuziastmați  fiecare –  de jocul parcă copilaresc – zâmbesc fericiți parcă doar pentru sine, parcă înduioșați și totuși parcă prea timizi să își zâmbească privindu-se unul pe celălat.

Fata, dându-și seama că gândurile îi plutesc duse de această idilă, are un moment parcă de constientizare în urma căruia își pleacă capul parcă timidă.

Un gest ușor de mușcare a buzelor transpare starea fetei pentru cei ce vizionează, și – luându-și un moment pentru a se gândi la ceea ce se întâmplă,  cu capul plecat – parcă îi fug ochii dintr-o parte în alta pe pământul din fața ei – ca a unui copil care tocmai își imagineaza cum va devora o prăjitură de care îi este foarte poftă și o vede știind că urmează să o mânânce în căteva momente.

Deodată, privirea i se oprește și, zămbindu-și parcă, își ridică ochii înapoi spre băiat.

Când își ridică privirea îl vede cum acesta se ridică de pe bancă, însă lângă el – tocmai ajunsă – este o altă fată pe care acesta o sărută și cu care pornește de mână spre ieșirea parcului.

Parcă subit, fata își dă seama de deziluzia în care s-a lăsat purtată de acel moment, care părea așa inocent/pur, imediat apoi cuprinzând-o tristetea. Se uita la baiatul care iese cu prietena lui din parc, apoi parcă re-observându-i se uită la oamenii din parc – la un copil care fuge la mama lui, la alt cuplu care stă pe o bancă, la o familie cu un copil care se plimbă prin fața ei.. apoi își apleacă încet privirea din nou spre pământ rămânând cu ambele mâini pe bancă. A revenit la tristețea inițială, însa de data asta parcă are o nouă tentă, sau poate de data asta doar știm mai bine cum să empatizăm cu ea..

Cadrul se departează ușor de banca ei până când în cadru intră un alt băiat care vine lângă ea și o ia in brațe, perietenul ei.

Ultima secvență este imaginea ei care, îmbrațișată cu prietenul ei, se uită peste umărul lui în jos tristă. De aici cadrul se departează și trece ușor în ‘blur’.

Acest mod de trecere între cadre – trecere prin blur (obținut prin controlarea focusului) – e refolosit pe parcurs. Astfel putem schimba focusul de pe unul din personaje (celălalt fiind aproape invizivil în blur) pe celălat personaj – ieșind primul personaj din focus – pierdut in blur (însă păstrând ideea că acesta este acolo și observă ceea ce este în focus).

it’s difficult..

Sometimes it’s difficult to make a choice.
Here’s an easy way, and don’t hurry with the reaction.

Flip a coin! Only one time! I’m not saying that you should follow the result cause that’s it, but notice your reaction after the supposed decision was made by the coin flip..

It will tell you what you really want – by the joy that it was what you wanted or the disappointment that it wasn’t.

PS. This doesn’t assure the decision is the best thing for you, the most moral or rational or such, but it should tell you what you really want. Flip the coin again if you want to check morality, hopefully your consciousness will tell you the truth.

forget me nots ep.6 ~ begin! be there!

I’ve finally begun writing this post. It’s about a year later then I would have liked it to be and I’m not proud of it. It’s been all sorts of stuff keeping me from doing it. I suppose procrastination is one of them. Ever since I’ve learned about this word ‘procrastination’ I’ve managed on one hand to realize the damage it can do, and sadly it has done, and on the other hand I’ve recognized the.. sometimes meditative – sometimes creative results that followed it.

I find meditation and creativity to be some of the most important things that can better and shape our lives. But another such important thing is action. I’m comming to believe that with out it, meditation and creativity are.. meaningless. But that’s another talk.

Although the time was productive, creative, inspiring, insightfull, informative, energizing in a tired moment; I often remember there was something else I said to my self (and possibly others) that I would do.

It’s not the things I’m obliged to do for someone else, the kind of things you’d find in a contract or agreement. I’m trying to be as prompt as I can with those. But it’s the personal things.. something I want to do, planned to, maybe even dreamed of doing, maybe something I realized I should do or promised my self that I would do..

In a way the contracts and official agreements can get to be an easy excuse for procrastination. Some could tend to forget that, as it is for most, contracted effort usually has a personal scope that is not written in the contract / agreement. Such would be the paradox of working so hard to have money to do what ever you want that it takes ones time and energy so that one doesn’t get to do anything else but work. I hope that’s not a common situation.

It seams starting means trying.. I’m not sure what’s really keeping us from trying.. the fear of failure, of the shame of failure, the vulnerability of the exposure..

What ever it is, I’ve started to realize the importance of trying. By trying I can find the value in it or the flaws of it, I can gain the benefit or learn the lesson it can bring.. I only have to lose by remaining hung-up with anything. Sure it’s good to prepare, investigate, ask for advice or more perspectives, but don’t get stuck. Triying can help you even if you fail, you’ll benefit from the experience in your next try and will be able to move to the next thing.

Think I’ll learn more from sharing these thoughts then keeping them for my self. Even without feedback, I seam to come back to what I write in here with a more objective perspective second or third time around.. although outside thoughts are way more productive. Add a title “personal” to the comment if you want to share an unpublished thought (all comments are moderated).
Thanks for your patience if you’ve made it so far.

fotografii programatoricesti

Fotoclubul ISDC participă la Salonul Aniversar Internațional “Carol Pop De Szathmari, 200” şi implicit la Festivalului Național “Luna Fotografiei din România”.
Acesta se desfasoară in perioada 10 ianuarie 2012 – 31 ianuarie 2012. Detalii AICI.

Fotoclubul ISDC are in cadrul acestui evenimnent o expoziție a cărui temă este orientată spre ISDC team & facilities (code name: ‘fotografii programatoriceşti’).
Vernisajul acesteia (vedeți şi in programul evenimentului) va fi in 28 ianuarie de la ora 18 la 2 minute Cafe & Pub (Vasile Goldiş #4).

expoziția cursului Bavarde

În ultimele săptămâni am participat la cursul de fotografie ținut de Irina Dumitraşcu la Fabrica de Pensule.
Vinerea aceasta (20 mai) ora 19 va fi vernisajul expoziţiei cu fotografii făcute de cursanţi în cadrul cursului. Printre acestea bine înţeles şi fotografii făcute de mine.
Ne vedem acolo.

expo curs Bavarde

forget me nots ep.5 – find & mind the extremes

I would like to use Buddha’s learnings. (extracted from Popular Deities of Chinese Buddhism)
The Buddha asked a monk who was reciting a sutra:

‘How did you find it when the strings were too loose?
No sound is possible. was the reply.
How when the strings were too tight?
They crack.
How when they were neither too tight nor too loose?
Every note sounds in its proper tone.’

In this sense the title of the post is referring to the middle way path. This middle way path is left for interpretation because people have different notions of extremes. If you’re not sure which would be the middle way, consider what would be the extremes of your situations. Then consider the actions which would most likely not get you anywhere near the negative extreme. Also start to ask if the positive extreme is not deluded, if it’s healthy or if it’s actually what you want.

It’s known that most things are more enjoyable when done occasionally then say every day or several times a day. That is because with most of the things it starts to be a routine and new interesting things in contrast to routine interesting things are usually more appreciated. Staying off for a while – missing the activity, you build anticipation and that then leads to enjoying the next experience in a more full minded way.

Still this perspective can lead in another extreme. So many times when people try to stay away from an extreme, they tend to go to another extreme, it seams some people have binary consciousness, I guess it’s easier to identify extremes, specially negative ones, because these are most popularized (unfortunately).


“Middle Path” may be misunderstood as equivocal. In fact Buddhism is not as such. “Middle” means neutral, upright, and centered. It means to investigate and penetrate the core of life and all things with an upright, unbiased attitude. In order to solve a problem, we should position ourselves on neutral, upright and unbiased ground. We investigate the problem from various angles, analyze the findings, understand the truth thoroughly, and find a reasonable conclusion.

Buddhism – The Middle Path

Update2. Actually do look at this possible positive extreme, you might find it is what you want, it’s healthy to want the best for your self and others thus this positive extreme is worth exploring to the maximum, that is probably where we all want to get, and we all deserve it. Do mind the delusion but mind it in a sense where you realize difficulties and get prepared, many or most things, like Rome, are not build in a day (or easily).

Jim, Bob and Pete

Pete is an imaginary friend of a schizophrenic person, a fictive character that has not his creator’s faults, he’s always mentioned in some situations that ‘he would have known better’ and ‘realized better’ and ‘done better’, ‘done the right thing’ and so on; much so that, although the others do realize that Pete is a fiction of his imagination – some start to look up to him.

Bob and Jim are sitting on the doc with the feet in the water, just staring at the water, stars and moon. Sounds of the night are clearly heard now and then breaking a contrast in the very mute atmosphere.

After a while, in which both were jut gazing straight ahead, Jim moves his sight a little towards the moon first, then at Bob, then ahead again, and – like realizing something, turns again to Bob:

Jim – Bob?

Bob – Yes?

J.Would you be Pete?

Bob, turning his head just a bit and looking slightly in another direction to think, says after a while:

B.I don’t know.. it depends..

J.On what?

B.(Turning his head a bit again) Well.. is he rich?

J.(After pondering a bit) Suppose he is..

B.Way richer the me or just a bit rich..?

J.Suppose way richer..

B.Is he athletic..? I mean the silhouette.. you know?


B.I don’t mean if he’s very sport-ish or muscle packed but.. you know, if he’s fit enough.. like, not looking like a slob or anything.. not fat or thin as a reed, but also with some shape in his body..

J.Well, say he’s athletic, you know, got the muscles but just the right amount.. nothing too fancy but.. just enough.

B.And the face? Is he handsome?

J.Yeah, he’s handsome.

B.More hansom then me?

J.Well.. would you like him to be?

B.(thinking a bit) Dono’..

J.Say he’s just the right way you’d appreciate it the most.. you know.. like.. just so much more or the same amount of hansom.. -ness as you’d like him to be..

B.And he’s smart yes? I mean, he knows things, read a lot and.. stuff..

J.Aahh, yes! He’s the smartest, very sharp mind indeed, very vigilant..

B.Well.. I wouldn’t mind being Pete then.. wouldn’t be so bad I suppose.. might actually enjoy it I think.. at lest for a while you know.. to see what it’s like, you know? .. to be Pete..

Both are silent for a few seconds. Then Bob continuing;

B.I mean wouldn’t you?

J.(after taking his time) I dono’..

B.I mean if he’s way richer.. and still down to earth, and.. and a good fellow, and all clean and mannered..

Jim doesn’t answer and Bob looks surprised, and in a way trying to justify him self,:

B.Wouldn’t you? I mean.. say he’d have it all, all you can want, be all you would like to be..

Jim still seems in doubt and doesn’t answer.

B.Well? Would you? (like a cry for solidarity)

J.It’s true I suppose.. I do have a lot of things that I.. could have done better.. ways I could have been better I suppose.. I have done many mistakes.. I guess because I did’t know any better or.. because I was distracted by other things.. there are still so many things I don’t know, that I.. wish I knew. Somehow it seams I just can’t wrap my mind around all of these things..

It’s silence for a few seconds when Jim suddenly continues

J.But there’s nothing like being with my baby.. somehow I don’t see Pete with my baby.. the thought disturbs me. It’d be like cheating or taking an undeserved shortcut.. But then I think we have our own version of Pete, a better us, to which we try to head towards and gradually become.


B.Well.. it was just a hypothetical question (getting upset like a child almost about to cry out, offended), I mean you started and asked me in the first place!

Again a few seconds of silence when Bob looks upset at Jim which keeps staring at the water. Suddenly Bob, upset stands up and leaves after exclaiming upset:

B.You twat!

By me

Actually I was fluctuating between different endings in Jim’s answer. I’m not happy with this current ending. In one of the versions Jim gets jealous on Pete (left a bit of possible interpretation but barely) and starts to feel insecure. In another version he realizes he doesn’t want to be anything like Pete but I did not want to portray a man who is conscious enough to think that ignorance could be a bliss and also accept it as his fate. I’ll possibly update the ending. But it will still be with Bob getting upset and leaving, just that now, his reason for being upset and calling Jim a twat is not obvious or well build.

Carl Sagan on creativity

In a Tv interview in ’88, Carl Sagan was invited (remotely via satellite) next to Stephen Hawking and Arthur C. Clarke the author of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

From that interview I extracted only Carl Sagan’s answer to: How does creativity operate?, along with another excerpt to which he refers in his answer – and the relevant context of that excerpt, all chronologically.

Q [..] …an agenda for the future?

C.S. My sense is that the scientific way of thinking, questioning.. some delicate mix of creative encouragement of new ideas and the most rigorous and skeptical scrutiny of new and old ideas, I think that is the path to the future, not just for science but for all human institutions. We have to be willing to challenge because we are in desperate need of change.

[..]Q. You said science should be skeptical of politics, don’t you think we should be skeptical about science too? I mean can we trust you guys?

C.S. I think you should definitely be skeptical, but my view is that there is no community of people on the planet more skeptical then scientists, it’s our stocking trade, it’s the live blood of our subject.

[..]Q. The question of creativity, which fascinates me.. [..] how in fact does it operate? [..]

C.S. This issue of where creativity comes from.. I share your fascination with it. I don’t think we understand very much about it.. My practice is merely to respect my unconscious mind, who often is much wiser then the conscious part of me.. and pay attention to what it says. In fact I think this is connected to that delicate tension at the heart of the scientific method I talked about before, the unconscious mind proposes a range of possibilities and the conscious mind disposes – that is compares those ideas with the real world, checks for internal inconsistencies and so on. I think the creative process is a partnership between a conscious and an unconscious part of our minds, at least that’s how it seams to me.

See the whole interview here.

tranquility vs zen

“- You see, we all can be the master of our selves, in control and aware, pure if you like. We just have to give up on the things that hurt us, that destroy us.. he says looking at the cigarette and then slowly taking a smoke. But we can’t.. we’re addicted, we’re the slaves of our own ignorance, the pawns of our own self destructing plan, following it blindly.. Although! (after suddenly reducing intensity of speech) at times we realize, we know.. Some just can’t live with the self that they have become, that has been affected and build by the path they find them selves on.. and let go into ignorance.. apathy, surrender to the sweet immediate reward, (a sudden rise of intensity, exclaiming) the instant gratification! why get your self all beat up in tiredness and compromises when in one day!  you can be the king of procrastination, the lord of Bohemia! You feel full power over your self and stand naked in the middle of your living room with Tchaikovsky floating all around you and over saturating every cell of your eardrum when, in a high peak, while neighbors are hitting on your walls and shouting, you roar: “I don’t give a fuck!”..  and feeel soooo freee.. (he said slowly, enjoying the moment in a sudden stop from adrenalin, but after another second a bitter realisation is reflected in his suddenly dimmed face).. Of-course.. the day passes.. and you find your self in the morning making re-acquaintance with your life, (starting an expression of discontent like hatred towards that discouraging moment of re-acquaintance) which it felt so good to just ditch!.. and enjoy tranquility..  it almost feels right to make the same choice this next day too.”

By me.

PS. I just find my self imagining these kinds of dialogs or monologues after experiencing or witnessing intense emotions, sometimes it’s something I see on the street or anywhere outside, reading something (not as often as I would like), hearing someone’s own story or remembering moments of intense feelings or situations. Another often occasion is after seeing a movie. And in this above paragraph in particular it was after seeing “Black Swan” – still, it has nothing to do with the movie’s story.

expoziția fotografiilor câştigătoare

Astăzi am primit veste de la British Council:

Vă invităm, în data de 21 ianuarie 2011, ora 18,00, la deschiderea expoziției cu fotografiile câştigătoare din cadrul concursului Photography Challenge din 27 noiembrie 2010.

Fotografiile vor fi expuse în sediul British Council din Cluj-Napoca, str. Arany Janos, nr. 11.

Concurenții vor avea ocazia de a discuta, într-un cadru informal, cu prof. univ. dr. Dorel Găină şi prof. univ. dr. Feleki Karoly, membri ai juriului.

Vă aşteptăm!

Ann Druyan; marijuana; James Randy

Carl Sagan and Ann Druyan in an interview about their book: “Shadows Of Forgotten Ancestors“, at the end of the interview are asked regarding their religious belief and they answer:

Carl Sagan “I’m an independent in religion as in politics. I am a searcher, but I have high standards of evidence.”

Ann Druyan “This is my idea of what the highest form of piety is:
In a universe as vast as ours, as ancient as ours, with beings as young and foolish and ignorant as we are, to say that we know what God is or how this universe came to be, is a form of arrogance which I do not subscribe to.”

The interview can be seen here: Part 1 | Part 2 .

Because I did not know about her, I looked up for more videos with Ann Druyan and found a jolly:
Ann Druyan – A Plead for a Change in the Marijuana Laws.

Looking for some more reference to their book, I found the magicians debunk-er James Randi Speaking about Carl Sagan. While I was at it, Mr. Randi has a charismatic way of speaking his opinions about interesting – important matters, so I found him also:  Questioning the Bible, and asking “Why Do We Still Believe?

caracterul mioritic românesc..

Uneori e foarte deprimant să te gândeşti la România.

Mă uitam la câteva secvențe din interviul cu Adrian Sobaru şi m-am întrebat cum este văzut aceast fapt în-afară, cum este văzută România prin prisma acestui fapt. M-am oprit asupra unui articol in NewYork Post.

Articolul se termina astfel:

“The first line was a reference to President Traian Basescu, who upon winning the presidential race in 2009 said “I’ve pierced them,” using a well-known line from a Romanian movie.

As emergency medical workers took him out on a stretcher, Sobaru shouted “Freedom!” ,  echoing cries of the 1989 fall of communism in which more than 1,300 people died. Romanians are commemorating the 21st anniversary of the uprising in which authorities shot unarmed protesters.”

Un comentariu zice:

“Obviously, no Post reader understands anything about Romania. There was no “revolution”–the corrupt commies got rid of the dictator and continued with business as usual. They export food and let their own people starve. Little has changed. I wish Americans were as passionate as this guy, but they just bend over for the rich and the criminals–usually one in the same.”

forget me nots ep.4 ~ don’t hurry! take the time!

Last episode I mentioned extremes and, ironically, this title could head you on a slippery path that could diverge you to one of these extremes, the one where – if you take too much time – you could end up loosing time – chances.
It’s true, you can slip on this path, but for some people – me included, it’s a path worth considering. But I am aware or try to keep awareness of the slipperiness of it, actually I’ll have some episodes about extremes. This gives me the occasion to announce the next episodes:

– Forget Me Nots Ep. 5 ~  Find & mind the extremes!

– Forget Me Nots Ep. 6 ~ Begin! Be there!

– Forget Me Nots Ep. 7 ~ Finish what you started!

But back to taking our time. Sometimes, some people seem to be doing things just to get over with them. This attitude sometimes comes after loosing enthusiasm or when enthusiasm is for something else and thus your head is drifting from what you are doing, often resulting in pour results.. Sometimes we get to some tasks in life, be them professional or not – but I suppose they are mostly professional, which we just want to get over with, fast.
In a way, if there’s no enthusiasm then that thing is not of importance to you and I can relate to that, unfortunately. But mind you that you are never the less responsible for it, it too will be your recommendation, the reflection of your abilities, a part of your evolution, it will be regarded as one of your approved – finished.. whatever it is. So don’t hurry too much on whatever you loose enthusiasm or have no enthusiasm for but are doing never the less.
But even with enthusiasm, because of the enthusiasm some tend to get all excited and an up-beat rhythm, sometimes the thrill of it can distract from paying attention to details; and sometimes important such details can make the difference between a winner or a deal-beaker. Unfortunate how some people don’t have the patience – don’t take the time, due to enthusiasm, to consider context, momentum, and sometimes miss out on great potential. If only we would realise and exercise  more patience and awareness for details,  and aknowledge the ease in wich enthusiastm can make us impulsive.

forget me nots ep3 ~ proofreading, proofreading, proofreading

This is a thing that I’m sometimes so obsessed with and never-the-less sometimes I manage to neglect. Grammar and spelling is indeed very important, it reflects on one side your capability to focus and your attention to details, but on another side, because of the effort that you made or did not make it also reflects your attitude – responsibility and care about what-ever you are doing – writing about.

Never-the-less, I have always thought that the content is way more important, and is more ignorant to ignore a good content or have a lower attitude towards it because of such mistakes. These days our focus is spread in multitasking like never before, there are tons of visual, audible or plain psychological distractions. These do not affect us just  directly whenever we might find ourselves typing, but can easily contribute to tiredness which again isn’t so productive for our focusing capabilities.

I suppose we are adapting creatures, and it is a sort of survival of the fittest one way or another. Technology is helping us with auto-correction but it can fail, I don’t always want to write “i donut kink munch about it” (that phrase did not get corrected – wasn’t underlined). But specially if it’s something that will be public, do take the time and do it right.

Do realize that there are two extremes in this: on one side you can miss important moments or opportunities by not expressing yourself as directly and fast as possible or at all – I’m saying this because in many things it’s a competition out there and the one that’s first is favored; but also the one that is best is favored and so on the other side – not realizing what you actually express and how you express it can have an unfavorable outcome.

This perspective and these extremes are important not only for the stuff we write, but also for things we say or for behaviour we have, choices we make; it comes as an incentive to think before we talk or act – exchanging perspectives (hats or shoes or roles with the others involved, or with the world like Kant would suggest – how ever helps), using critical thinking / skepticism too / questioning everything – including our own premises / conclusions.

Of-course, there’s more.

forget me nots ep2 ~ keep it short / simple

This is a challenge for me, a challenge I must take > pass > and only remember in laughter that I was once like this.

Imagine this post was like two or three screen scrolls long(er). Those that are closest to me maybe would have had the patience to read it entirely or at all.  Actually, looking back at my old long mails, post or memos, etc – I my self do not have the patience or the time to read them.

Now indeed it gets that long because, in my case, I don’t want to miss anything out and try to make sure it’s all clear. But it’s not efficient, the message is not  received – not evaluated, no feedback / reply – it’s literally into the void. Sure sometimes it makes sense, like when you are writing a book I suppose; but most of the times it’s just wasting what could be a possibility to share, get evaluated, evolve.

What can be done? On one hand: attention on details is good, so if you do have the time to write the whole thing do it. But if you want to share or get evaluated, give only the essential and let people know there’s more if they want it. That’s the solution I found for my self for now anyway.

Here’s an example, instead of a long post on time management (it applies in content management too):

“Collect all in one place > Choose the essential > Eliminate the rest > Organize the remaining”

Got any other perspectives / solutions? (appreciate it)
PS. There’s more.

forget me nots – series – late prologue

I wrote on twitter, recently, a memo that was meant for my self more then anything. It was like this:

” Forget-me nots. Ep.1 (i prefer the w3c one) W3C_and_Internet_Explorer_box_models.png

and that made the first of what I’m thinking of making a series of important memos and also lessons learned the hard way which should not be forgotten.

Up next, when I’ll have some time, will be three episodes:

“Forget Me Nots Ep. 2 – Keep it Short / Simple !!”

“Forget Me Nots Ep. 3 – Proofreading, proofreading, proofreading !!”

“Forget Me Nots Ep.4 – Don’t hurry!! Take the time!”

I know it’s a good idea to do this series for my self, maybe not only for my self. Do drop any feedback, thanks.